The rawness of turning a year older: 37 prevailing truths I learned this year…

Some hard, some not so much but it was the hard ones that taught me the biggest lessons.

Happy Birthday to you if you are celebrating a birthday!! Today is my 37th birthday – I am stating this more so for me than you, I had to take my year and subtract it from 2021 to figure my age out…it be like that sometime when you get up in age LOL. What makes this birthday special for me is the fact I am doing something that I have been sitting on for years and didn’t have the courage to do (see post called “Courage” and yes, this sentence is a plug for that post). I dropped this imperfect blog site, which fits perfectly in my life currently.

For so long society has a way of making many people think and rethink situations; I should know, I am one of those people. However, it continues to fascinate me how gracious God is. I am humbled by the ebb and flow that takes place from year to year. I have learned a lot this year (and previous years), but THIS YEAR has been by far the most challenging year for me (thus far). Looking through the lens of perception, lack of detail, and society can easily give off that life lessons and challenges are beautiful, easy to overcome and the hard times are to be kept private. Well, not for me. Life lessons have been hard, deceiving at times, beautiful, easy and not so easy, and downright necessary…YES, NECESSARY!

It is not always that favorite Instagram quote that we post and all is well in our world, it is not always that amazing selfie when the light hits your bone structure just right and you appear like you have it all together; to me this year humbled me, exposed me to myself, and made me fall in love with…ME! Everyone learns lessons in different ways and that is the beauty of humility. With that being said, as I take my first lap around the sun into this New Year, I want to share and reflect some of my most prevailing lessons with you all.

Here’s to 37 of my most life-altering, raw, “ah-ha” moments, and putting things in perspective prevailing lessons I’ve learned in the last year:

Disclaimer: In full transparency, some of these lessons were harder to learn than others. There were tears. There were hard truths. There was disappointments. There were losses, but many gains. Heck, some were just that…HARD AS HECK. Here we go…

1. Never say never.

Let’s just say, what you may think you would do if a certain situation presented itself and you were caught off guard may be the total opposite. It's ok, it’s called GROWTH…the “then” YOU got faced with the “now” YOU and maybe humbled YOU and showed YOU a different “perspective” (come on now somebody, yass)!

2. Failure is necessary…

All I have to say is…how else would you know what you are built for, what you can do, what you are capable of if you didn't fail every now and then?

3. Accept the outcome, don’t succumb to your thoughts.

Ok, ok…easier said than done. But if I had $1.00 for every time, I planned something and it didn’t go as planned and I allowed my anxiety to get the best of me…I would be a billionaire. All I am saying is once the outcome is the OUTCOME learn from it or celebrate it…and move on.

4. The past can hurt (just think about what Rafiki from Lion King said ).

5. Don’t follow the narrative that you created.

This took me several therapy sessions to figure this one out and sometimes it still takes hold of me (God still working with me LOL). Ok, we as humans often create a whole scenario in our heads without asking clarifying questions. We assume way more than we should which leads to a whole lot of unnecessary drama when in actuality…WHO CARES. IF this said narrative really is true, it just may not have to do with you…don’t jump to conclusions. BUT if it is about you…than I say - WHO CARES…if they can’t come to YOU then…allow me to introduce lesson 6…

6.  You can’t please everyone. The End.

7. If it disrupts your peace, then let it go let it be!

I am big on energy! If it stirs up a feeling that is not of God or works more against you then…it.has.to.go. POOF BE GONE! NEXT…

8. SAY NO. It is ok, your time is everything.

9. There is a big difference between friends, genuine friends and friendliness.

Have you ever heard the saying, “the older I get the smaller my circle gets?”  This is true…we can be friendly…but I see you LOL.

10. Everybody is not for YOU, and YOU are not for everyone.

This is ok! I am not perfect and let me tell you, I have my flaws…this is OK! I and you may not fit for everyone. I am humble enough to know, I don’t have it all together (shrugs).

11. Being vulnerable is ok.

12. Less is more.

13. Therapy is not Taboo.

Any of my family or friends will tell you, I will recommend a therapist to anyone. Therapy is not a negative, to me it is necessity.

14. Silence is Golden.

Sometimes you do not have to rebuttal, let the silence speak volumes. 15. Having a heart of gratitude goes far.

I have learned and I try to teach my little angels this, having gratitude for whatever the situation may be takes you further than you think. There is a lesson in everything, be grateful for at least that. Even the hard times.

16. Avoiding the issue, will create more problems.

The fastest person in the world can’t outrun whatever issues I may have and still will be faced with. I tried this in the past and it created more problems than I could handle. So, now I face the issue head on, is the outcome always great…NOPE but that’s the “life” part in it. 17. Your biggest test can become your greatest testimony.

18. Let God work…sit down.

19. Heartache is inevitable.

The truth as we get older, we embark on different milestones. That can be marriages and that can be losing people close to us. Say “I love you” often, give those flowers just because, TRY not to hold grudges and live like tomorrow is not promised…because it isn’t. 20. There’s never a “right” time.

Say how you feel, take the trip, live out loud and on purpose, initiate that business idea…DO IT!

21. You’re human, it’s ok to own that.

All I am saying is that it is ok to express our emotions. Explore those emotions, just don’t become those emotions. It is ok to get triggered, angry, and sad, excited and cry, own it and then get up and change it. 22. RUN YOUR OWN RACE.

Do not let somebody else timeline become your own. We hit milestones at different times. We adjust to things differently. You don’t know their story and they don’t know yours. Stand center stage on YOUR TIME.

23. Regret hurts way more than fear.

24. Step out on faith.

25. Create those boundaries, they are necessary – say it with me…PROTECT YOUR PEACE.

26. You are ENOUGH.

Keep repeating this to yourself, you are amazing!

27. It is ok to disappear, just come back.

Sometimes we have to step off the scene to gather ourselves. Center ourselves. Love ourselves. It is ok to disappear, recluse if you may…just come back!

28. It takes courage to see your flaws.

It takes time to acknowledge when we might be in a bad place. How we handle it is the important part. 29. Adversity builds character.

30.Budgets are hard, but necessary.

Spend wisely! 31. Change your way of thinking.

Thoughts are going to occur; at times they can be so strong that they overcome us. Take control of your thoughts and change your thinking.

32. Talk nice to yourself.

There is power in the tongue!! Nobody is going to love you like YOU, speak kind to yourself! 33. It will be okay.

Sounds simple, huh. It’s not. Your hard work, patience, pain, time, acceptance and persistence will all be worth it. 34. Learn to be OK with not being invited, included, or considered.

35. Extend grace…especially to yourself.

Extend some grace to yourself and others, you never know what their circumstances are.

36. Be consistent.

37. The most prevailing truth this past year is owning where I am at currently.

I am grateful for all of these hard lessons, because they have created a better version of me. There is a peace that I have experienced that has allowed me to see the beauty in being vulnerable and accepting of the test that has only revealed the greatness that lies within living.

My prayer is that at least one of these prevailing truths speaks to you in the most kind way, but gives at least one person courage to challenge themselves when life throws those curve balls.

Raise your glass with me, here’s to 365 more laps around the sun…READY.SET.GO.

Go be great, we’ll talk soon!

Kesha La’Sara